Waffles

Hello. My name is Dave. I'm 17 and I am a religious conservative. This is my personal blog where I post what I like. You can ask me anything.

digivolvin:

last night i dreamed that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove humans are closely related to goats and i was so insulted i woke up

(via runningtherightway)

iamthedukeofurl:

wholockian-at-hogwarts:

WHAT DO YOU AMERICANS MEAN WHEN A SHOW IS ON AT LIKE FUCKIN “8/7c” WHAT IS THAT????

We never switched over to metric timekeeping. The c stands for “Caw”, referring to how many times a majestic eagle has flown overhead and cawed that day. Sometimes the eagles are feeling sluggish, so the show could be on after either the 7th or 8th caw. 

(via runningtherightway)

footmeetsface:

spoon-party-of-bombur:

multipack:

amyeatfeast:

stopthatitssilly:

alexkisu:

multipack:

f is for friends who do stuff without you

u is for uninvited

c is for clinging onto hope that you wont keep getting forgotten

k is for krispy kreme yum

this is not what i wanted this post to turn out like

one time i got in the shower and came out and no one was home and the lights were off, my entire family went bowling and forgot about me 

DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA

(Source: ihaveremade, via runningtherightway)

donttreadonvirginia:

There is a hilarious story I’ve seen floating around online about a 90-year-old Englishman on a plane to France. The stewardess chides him because he didn’t have his passport with him. She asks him if he’s ever been to France before. He answers, “Yes.” She replies that he should know he needs a passport, then. He replies that he couldn’t find a single Frenchman on Normandy Beach to whom he could show his passport the last time he visited in his 20s.

donttreadonvirginia:

There is a hilarious story I’ve seen floating around online about a 90-year-old Englishman on a plane to France. The stewardess chides him because he didn’t have his passport with him. She asks him if he’s ever been to France before. He answers, “Yes.” She replies that he should know he needs a passport, then. He replies that he couldn’t find a single Frenchman on Normandy Beach to whom he could show his passport the last time he visited in his 20s.

(via equestrianrepublican)

equestrianrepublican:

My mother was 16, I’m 16.

equestrianrepublican:

My mother was 16, I’m 16.

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

autisticfandomthings:

opalhonors:

alongstrangeride:

gettin-nakie-outside:

equiroz:

A tiger walks into a liquor store…there’s no punchline here.

Is that… a frisbee?

He just wants to play catch

What I love is that it obviously takes the person at the counter a few seconds to process that that is in fact a tiger.
Like, you kinda see their brain going “dog, nope, cat, big cat, big cat with stripes, SHIT, tiger!!!”

And the two people who go dashing out with the distinctive “I have just encountered an unexpected tiger SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT” run.

autisticfandomthings:

opalhonors:

alongstrangeride:

gettin-nakie-outside:

equiroz:

A tiger walks into a liquor store…there’s no punchline here.

Is that… a frisbee?

He just wants to play catch

What I love is that it obviously takes the person at the counter a few seconds to process that that is in fact a tiger.

Like, you kinda see their brain going “dog, nope, cat, big cat, big cat with stripes, SHIT, tiger!!!”

And the two people who go dashing out with the distinctive “I have just encountered an unexpected tiger SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT” run.

(Source: ForGIFs.com, via runningtherightway)